Oy Veil! Saying Yes to the Dress & No to the Veil

So, thanks to Diane at The Wedding Day, my wonderful mother, and my fabulous friends, I was able to check "Choose/Order The Gown" off my wedding to do list a few weeks ago.

Turns out, David's Bridal wasn't meant to be for me. I tried on a few gowns that morning, and on a particularly gross-feeling day (we all have those, don't we?), none of them were able to knock me out off my ugly funk, and to me, a wedding dress should make you look beautiful, even when you're feeling your ugliest.

The dress I chose, did just that. 

Despite the lethal bad hair/bad body day combo I was experiencing, my dress still stopped me in my tracks - luckily, there seemed to be a consensus among my boozed-up entourage too.

After a toast with some delicious Wilson's Creek Winery Almond Champagne (thanks mom!), we turned from our unanimous "yes" to the dress, to our split veil opinion.

Me? I've never wanted a veil – I've just always thought they were too old fashioned looking for me. 

Didn't know that wasn't going to go over so well with the moms (mine and Brian's) and some of the more traditional members of the bridal party. You want tradition? I'm already going to wear the long, white dress - right?

Oy Veil!

To humor the no veil haters, I tried on a few – including a particularly heinous 80's inspired poofy thing. And despite the protests and the like 5 to 3 vote favoring a veil, I'm sticking to my guns - no veil for me. Maybe a headband, a cool clip or a flower - but no veil. 

Anywhoo, in the weeks that have followed finding the dress, I'll quickly bring you up to speed on what we've got going on the wedding planning side of things - and I'll blog out the dirty details later.

-We've set a date: August 4, 2012

-We've got a one-of-a-kind coordinator: My cousin, the uber organized Brina Stevens

-We've locked in the venue: Cyprus Shore, San Clemente

-We've booked our band: the uber entertaining Johnny On The Spot 

-We've talked to our florist: The uber talented Samantha Santana of Primary Petals

-We've set up a time to meet a possible photographer: Evan Christman

-We've checked out and selected most of the rentals: Baker Party Rentals

-We've set up our tasting appointment with the caterer: Blue Agave Restaurant

Whew! As you can see, lots of exciting things happening and many more to come - so happy to take you along for the ride.

Cheers to that!

Saying "Almost" to the Dress

I think I found it.

I think I found the gown I'm going to get married in, and it's not at all what I expected it to be - but isn't that how it always seems to work out?

Rather than take a whole entourage of bridesmaids and buddies, I decided I wanted to share this special day with my forever & always BFF, my momala - and it was the perfect day, and it will be a day we both treasure.

There's this store - The Wedding Day - that's five minutes from where I live, conveniently located next to the Weight Watchers I go to every week. Talk about keeping my motivation fresh in mind.

I had been wanting to go in there for months, just to see what gorgeous gowns awaited, and it was even better than I could have imagined.

My mom, incredibly anxious, and me, incredibly excited, met Diane, our incredibly wonderful gown guide at 11:30. I told her I was going for a beachy, bohemian look, and I was going for a price as close to $1K as possible, preferably as much under $1K as possible. The gowns within our price point were tagged salmon or green, which was great because we didn't even look at the other tags, so the temptation to spend more was gone from the get-go.

Diane picked up on on and embraced my adventurous laidback vibe immediately, and together, we selected a diverse set of gowns, cause really, for my first time trying on dresses, I will try on just about anything - after all, how many times do you get to try on wedding gowns? I'm gonna savor this shit.

From big ruffled skirts to drop waist ruched bodices, I was in seventh heaven as we carefully considered the pros and cons of each dress and narrowed down the must-have features. And I knew, the two that made me feel the most beautiful (and most slim) I've ever felt, were keepers.

Luckily, Diane, my mom and I were all on the same page. But it took us all a few back-and-forth try-ons, a few trips to the big mirror, and a few hours to take a break (and check out another bridal gown shop), to settle on the dress I not only felt beautiful in, but the dress I felt was as fun and unique as I want our wedding to be.

Walking on a cloud (and quite exhausted to boot), my mom and I left and grabbed a late lunch at Thasos (delish Greek food) before going to our appt. at Jaclyn's Bridal. I went there with my friend Sandra when she found her wedding gown (her drop-dead-gorgeous wedding gown), and I felt maybe I could find my happy wedding gown ending there. 

Even with all of the stunning selections they had, my dress just wasn't in there. None of the dresses made me feel the way the my dress made me feel. Not even close.

On our way home from Jaclyn's, we got a call from Diane at The Wedding Day, who said she was kicking herself for not showing me this other dress that she believed I would love. We thought we might as well go in and try it on since my car was still parked at the store.

I tried it on, and although it was lovely - it wasn't mine. I had to try on my dress along with it's runner-up to get one last hurrrah. And as of now, I'm saying almost to the dress, not because I don't want to say yes, but because my mother, being as wise and all-knowing as she is (as they all are really) suggested I do one more round at David's Bridal next week before trying on my dress again at 2:30 next Saturday, to make absolutely sure that it is a whole-hearted, 110% yes.

We are bringing along some bridesmaids, buddies and bubbly to that 2:30 appt. with Diane at The Wedding Day...you know, just in case! 

Location, Location, Location - Where to Wed?

For me, weddings are like real estate - it's all about location, location, location. I believe that where you choose to host your wedding really helps set the tone for the day. Temple/Church? traditional & time-honored. Country Club/Hotel? fancy & formal. Outdoors? comfy & casual.

Brian and I like to keep it easy, breezy and beautiful (just like CoverGirl), so having our wedding as close to the beach as possible - without breaking the bank - would be a definite dream come true.

Well, agreeing on the actual location wasn't really difficult for us. In fact, we knew where we wanted to get married long before we got engaged...I know...shocker! 

We are fortunate that Brian's parents have a house in a lovely San Clemente community, and that this lovely San Clemente community has a picturesque park (above) just steps away from the beach with gorgeous peek views of the ocean. We also knew it would be an awesome place to celebrate our nuptials because Brian's sister and his brother wedded there too.

With all of that in mind, we thought it was a total slam dunk decision. We also thought it would be free seeing as how it's in a private, residential area where his parents own a home....my, how completely naive we were.

Turns out, not only does it cost to host a wedding in the park, it costs a pretty penny, and that pretty penny doesn't include the rentals or the food. With the help of my magnificent meshugana momala, we started looking into alternative venues to compare prices.

After many emails, phone calls, and fruitless google searches, we came to the conclusion that just about anywhere you decide to have a wedding isn't going to be cheap, and just about everywhere we looked into was lacking what we truly wanted.

We really want to customize our wedding, from the caterer, to the cake, to the rentals - and many venues only allow you to use their vendors and their catering services. Now, I am capable of compromising on some things, but I can't compromise on customization - after all, I've spent a majority of the last 3 years envisioning our wedding (you know, in between working and stuff), and I just couldn't bring myself to agree to a chicken/steak/veggie dinner and white folding chairs (no offense to couples who do want those things).

After much soul-searching and budget calculating, Brian and I sent in our check this week, and have almost officially locked in our wedding date at the picturesque park. We're just waiting on the housing board seal of approval and then we'll jump for joy! (But we're really already jumping!)

It's Tricky, Tricky, Tricky, Tricky Part Two: Befuddled by Budget

I used to plan our wedding on car rides to and from Fountain Valley and the San Fernando Valley.

Listening to Dave Matthews, Buena Vista Social Club, Ozomatli, Jack Johnson and Michael Buble, visions of vibrant colors, intricate floral arrangements and even an authentic tortilla maker dancing in my head, I never gave the wedding budget a thought.

I knew if anything could take all the fun out of planning my fake wedding, it would be figuring out what everything actually cost - so I didn't think about it and very blissfully went about devising decor and dress ideas on the 405.

Well, here we are. A real ring is on my finger, a real wedding is in the makes, and a real budget must be made. 

Like most of the elements of our wedding, Brian and I will be breaking tradition, because just like rules, some traditions are meant to be challenged, and I LOVE a challenge.

Brian and I are lucky enough to have parents who have been there for us - with both moral and financial support - all of our lives. College, dorms, food, car, medical insurance, sorority, spending money - you name it, they paid for it. 

We are happy to say that we have almost completely weaned ourselves off of our parents financially. Now, that doesn't mean we don't need you guys...we will never stop needing you guys. But for Brian and I, this has brought us a wonderful sense of pride and security in ourselves and in our future together, and we see our wedding as an opportunity to thank our parents, our friends and our family by planning this great party to spread the love and appreciation.

That being said, we are young professionals, who, although lucky enough to even have jobs, don't have the cash flow to spend the average $27K+ on our wedding.

As fun as it would be to throw a shit ton of money towards this event we've been planning for years, we don't have that shit ton of money to work with, and even if we did, I'm not sure how comfortable we'd feel spending most of our savings on one day.

But damn is that day special to us. 

See, this is where I'm at. As you can tell, I love and live for weddings - eat, sleep and breathe the mesmerizing combination of design, decor, fashion, food, family, and most importantly the love that brings it all together, and I don't want to deprive myself of a day that I've been dreaming about for as long as I can remember.

So, I am going to approach the planning of our wedding like I have our relationship - with compromise (and congeniality, like Sandra Bullock).

My first big internal compromise...deciding on the chair rentals. Now, for the faint of wedding-heart (cough, Dad, cough), it may seem ridiculous to even place any amount of importance on chairs. But, when I saw these aqua blue chairs making the wedding blog rounds, I could not stop obsessing. I mean, just look at them... (first one from Style Me Pretty, second one from Bunch Studio Blog)

Aren't they perfect for a turquoise/coral color scheme? Swoooooon!

Anywhoo, I researched and saw that Classic Party Rentals carried these beautiful blue babes, and I emailed them to ask for a price quote.

My wedding bubble was truly burst when I found out that these chairs are $11.40 each. To rent. 

I tried to justify in my head that if I splurged on these chairs, we could skimp on the rest of our rental budget, but I still don't have the heart (or the husband-to-be) that will allow me to spend almost $3K on a place to rest your tush. 

So I searched for something equally unique and more affordably priced and found these bamboo beauties, which will work perfectly with our beachy, rusti-funk (rustic & funky, get it?) decor. And for half the price - at $5.50 each - me and the hubby-to-be agree! (Image from Baker Party Rentals)

Our first budget befuddlement out of the way, I know there will be many more to come as we try to stick to our $15K budget, but I can't think of better practice for setting our life's budget as we plan to spend the rest of our days and our moneys together! 

It's Tricky, Tricky, Tricky, Tricky - Part One - The Date Dilemma

I may be new to this wedding planning thing, but I'm not naive. I know that with this great excitement, comes great responsibility, and when dealing with a wedding people have questions that they expect answered faster than the poor mensch can say, "Will you marry me?"

My dear friend, Ashlee, who is getting married in a month, forewarned me that the question I would hear the most once I shouted my news from the rooftops would be, "So, when's the wedding?"

Truth is - as embarrassing as this is to admit - I've known for about 2 years. How could I know before my boyfriend even became my hubby-to-be, you ask? Because I'm a nut, a wedding nut to be exact, and I signed up for an account on The Knot while I was still in college. I wanted to be able to look at all the pretty wedding pictures and read all the fun wedding content, and to do that, I had to become a registered member of The Knot.

I designated myself as a "no ring yet" user (not as bad as trying on the gown before you get the ring, right?), but still had to put a tentative wedding date, so I chose something that sounded a long ways away - August 12, 2012. It didn't have too bad of a ring to it either.

Not only is it the reverse of my birthday (Bday 12.8 - Wday 8.12 - get it?), but my parents and Brian's parents have anniversaries in August, were married the same year and have been together for over 30 years, PLUS, last year I lookey looed ahead and saw that August 12th was a Sunday - talk about a good omen, right?

Here's where the tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky part comes in.

Earlier this summer, we found out that not one, but two of my East Coast cousins were planning to get married in September of 2012 - shout out to Ari and David!

Of course, many Mazel's have been exchanged since, and we had already planned on making our way to the Big Apple to attend at least one of the weddings so we could reunite with our wonderful family - we're a really tight-knit bunch, you see.

I just didn't feel right planning for an August wedding until I got their blessing. I believed that it was only fair to see how they felt about this because, being the last one to get engaged and all (don't mean to rain on your parade, Bri), I didn't want to step on anyone's toes.

Last night, I wrote an email to my cousins to send my love and let them know where Brian and I were at with our setting-the-date dilemma.

Brian and I decided, before I even wrote the email, to push our proposed date to either the 4th or 5th of August, just to give a bit more cushion time in between our wedding and the first of the cousins' weddings, which will be during Labor Day weekend. We also discussed the possibility of postponing our honeymoon, so that we could jet it to NY for one of the weddings, then go from there to wherever we decide to soak up the sun.

I heard back from all of my amazing cousins today, and they couldn't have been happier or more understanding. They all agreed that Brian and I should go ahead with the date that we wanted, and that this year is only made better because all the love we get to share. They also all agreed that they would try their very best to come celebrate.

Bottom line, family is everything, and without their support, their love, and their approval, this wedding day would not be as big or as meaningful.

All that being said, the dilemma is almost solved.

The only thing left to decide is whether we will have it on a Saturday, which is more convenient for everyone, or a Sunday, which may help us keep prices down. Looks like Brian and I will be doing some pricing research, so that we can finalize a date within the next few weeks and move forward with the other dilemmas we will undoubtedly be confounded with.

I say, BRING IT ON, BRIDAL STYLE!

The ring-a-ding for proposing

Much like the story of our wedding, the story of the ring started long before the proposal.

Like many long-term couples, we dabbled in diamond shopping a couple years into our courtship. I'm thinking the guy does this to satiate our nuptial appetite for a bit, and then they continue to humor us to keep the fantasy alive.

Well, on Mother's Day, my mother, my brother's gf and I stopped by a funky jewelry shop and spotted what I thought was the ring of my dreams - a canary diamond surrounded by a halo.

I took a picture and texted it to Brian right away - subtle, right? I proceeded to show it to pretty much everyone and even finagled Brian into treking all the way down to San Juan Capistrano to see the ring in person - with the promise of Pedro's Tacos to keep him happy.

To my dismay, he wasn't a big fan of the ring. Mostly he was not a fan of the cost (wayyy out of budget for a girl who said she would be pleased with a ring pop...I lied), and not a big fan of the color - which he referred to as the color of piss.

After a few half-hearted attempts looking on Amazon and scoping out the selection at Kay's, we gave up the search, and like most of life's precious moments, that's precisely when we found the ring-a-ding.

We were on our way to see a movie with my brother at the Bella Terra in Huntington Beach, and on a whim stopped by Princess Bride Diamonds - a lovely little store with lovely little gems. While Brian and I oohed and ahhed over a few pieces, Keith couldn't stay farther away - as if buying a ring might be contagious.

We left the store and a piece of our hearts, and a few hours later had to come back to try on THE RING. I wanted it to be a surprise, but who are we kidding, Brian and I are really bad at keeping our mouths shut, especially when we want to surprise each other.

A few weeks later, on a Tuesday, I came home from Zumba and while Brian and his buddy Chase were glued to gaming on their computers, I spotted what looked like a receipt from none other than Princess Bride on the floor - it said pick up Tuesday.

Now, I'm pretty good at putting two and two together, but Brian is even better at throwing me off his scent. So he fed me some lame ass excuse when I asked what that was all about, and I pretty much bought it, but in my heart I new something was up.

There were a few more close calls - an e-mail here, a text message there - and Brian was fully aware that I was on high alarm, looking (almost) everywhere in the house to see if I could find his hiding place.

At 7am on a Sunday, when all I wanted to see were the insides of my eyeballs, was when he was finally able to catch me (and apparently my parents when asking their permission the day before) off guard.

He placed the royal blue box into my hands.

I laughed, I cried, I wanted to throw up, and when he popped the question, I replied oh-so-eloquently, "duh!"

It's so surreal to wake up thinking about this one accessory that makes every outfit and every day special. I can't believe I get to have it (and Brian) for the rest of my life.

A little bit about us...

So, the summer before going into my freshman year at UC Irvine, I thought it would be fun to friend every cute freshman Anteater on Facebook. Now, I'm not usually this forward (and I don't think freshman = fresh meat, well ok, maybe I did) but I thought, hey, why not casually introduce myself to a few eligible incomers from the safety of my keyboard?

Enter Brian. He was one of a few guys who had messaged me back, and we chatted from July to the start of school. We talked favorite restaurants, favorite books, favorite movies, relationship history, family and threw in a few existential questions for good measure. We met a week after we moved in, and six years, a house, a dog (the best beagle ever!) and a ring (a really, really pretty ring) later - here we are - planning a day I've really been planning for years.

We've got most of the basics down in terms of knowing when we want it and where we want it. And thanks to our best buds who just got married, I'm pretty sure we know what food we want. But those best buds and another best bud whose impending nuptials are a month away, have also been good prep for the stress that lies ahead.

I know planning in my head is going to be different than planning for real, so I'm looking forward to taking this journey with Brian and figuring out all the details along the way - after all, what better way to prepare for life's stresses that will hit after the wedding?